Quote of the Day

When a woman steals your man, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

Hehe....

I'm gonna be an EMT!!!

My mother reminds me constantly ever since my sister's wedding that I am quickly approaching thirty and have nothing to show for almost three decades of life. The last conversation started when a guy friend of mine came to the house to do some work she wanted done. This is how it went -

Mom (as he was pulling out of the driveway): "He was cute."

Me: "He's just a friend, mom."

Mom: "When are you going to reel one of these guys in and keep him?"

Me (to myself): "Thanks a lot, Lori. You just had to go and get hitched and point her in my direction."

I love my mother and wouldn't trade her for the world, but damnit man.

I don't care to have anything at all to do with men at the moment and I don't see that changing in the near future. But I am going back to school. Maybe that will ease the pressure a little bit.

Lori said one time that she wished she could float through life the way I do.

Be careful what you wish for.

It's miserable. Mom's right. I'm looking thirty squarely in the eye. I've never been in a relationship that had a snowball's chance in hell of going anywhere and once I had a high school diploma, the thought of going back to school only crossed my mind long enough for me to think "I'll do it later." It gets to a point where you honestly start to wonder what the hell the point of life is. When getting up to pee in the morning is your biggest accomplishment for the week you feel more than useless. It's seriously depressing. Big time.

So I decided it was time to establish a goal or two. And I did. I'm going back to school. I'm going to be an EMT. It's going to be expensive, and it's not going to be easy but nothing in life worth having comes easily. It took me almost 26 years to figure that out. Maybe if I stay in school for a while I won't get any more of the hints and/or direct questions as to when I'm going to find a boy and "reel him in." I don't know if I'll be able to handle the grandbabies comments. Did you get them Lori?

Anyway, I'm excited, I can't wait to get started and I had to share.

Did you give up on the riddles and mysteries Sarah?

Three Mysteries

I got an email that was titled "Three Mysteries" which was exactly what was in it... go figure.

I figured I would post them instead of more riddles. (My life is very boring at the moment. This is way more fun, trust me.)

So here's the first one:

A man was found murdered Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police.

The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:

The wife said she was sleeping.

The cook was preparing breakfast.

The gardener was gathering vegetables.

The maid was getting the mail.

The butler was polishing shoes in the pantry.

The police instantly arrested the murderer.

Who did it and how did they know?

Riddle #4 Answer

Well Sarah, since you're the only person that ever reads my blog and Dad answered it without even thinking about it, here's the answer...

The Great Lakes

Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, Ontario

There are five, lakes being blue (as in true blue).

Lake Michigan belongs to the United States, the other lakes are shared by the United States and Canada.

The lakes are part of a chain, with locks between some of them.

Many shipwrecks occur by grounding on rocks in shallow water.

The initials spell "homes", which are found in neighborhoods.

Riddle #4

Five siblings are they, their color is true;

One belongs to one, four are shared by two.

Connected together, some by locks;

Many meet their fate upon the rocks.

Arrange their initials, and you should

Find things that are found in a neighborhood.

What has just been described?

The most incredible thing I've ever done...

Becky's 45th birthday - 8-8-08.

She originally wanted to go to Vegas because the Chinese said something about that date being the luckiest something or other and you're blessed to be alive on that day. How we ended up in Clewiston I'm still not really positive but I wouldn't trade that day for the world.

There aren't words to properly describe the experience but I can tell you that if you ever have the opportunity, DO IT. It's absolutely amazing to put it mildly. It's the rush of all rushes, the adrenaline surge of all adrenaline surges, and the escape of all escapes.

This was the easy part. Cheese for the camera, get into the plane with the tandem instructor. (Why are the hot ones always so damned short?)

It was a little Cessna 306. Held together with duct tape, carpet padding and paper clips. When I got in and looked around, I was glad I was jumping out...

In the plane with John. This was fun. I gave him shit but he could dish it out too. John, Lisa (the videographer) and I laughed hysterically for about 20 minutes up there.

The airport was the size of a dime and you could see Lake Okeechobee and follow the Okeechobee River all the way to where it emptied into the Gulf of Mexico from where we jumped out.

He said I was going to get a "1, 2, 3, go!"

He fibbed.

Grab your balls, ladies, here we go!

Now the best part...

It's indescribable....

I can't even begin to tell you how freeing it is.







It seems like a lifetime before you actually pull the chute but you only freefall for about sixty seconds. The ride after the chute is pulled lasts 6-8 minutes depending on how much you play while you're up there. I told him I wanted a wild ride so he pulled the toggles on the chute so hard and fast we flipped over the canopy about three times before we hit the ground. It's crazy to see your canopy and then the ground below you when you look up. It almost doesn't make any sense.

I'm addicted. I can't wait to do it again. Lori and Matt don't know it yet but they're planning on going with me for my birthday. 3/12/09 guys. Mark your calendar.

I'm going to see if I can get my video posted if anyone's interested. It's a lot more fun. It takes you from the beginning to the end. Sarah, how do I do that?

4th of July in Daytona Beach

Well, I guess I could post pictures and tell you about our long weekend in Daytona Beach.... almost two months later... sorry again. I swear I apologize in this blog more than anything else. Anyway... on to the pictures.

We had a blast. We got there Thursday night and the rum flow started. We drank, ate well, wandered around Main St. and the Pier, spent Saturday at the track tailgating and watching the race and enjoyed a beautiful private beach house with a great view and a kayak in the garage. The fun started on Thursday and didn't stop until Sunday evening.

Part of the view down the beach from the back deck at the house. We spent a lot of our time out there.

Larry and I, slightly intoxicated, getting our feet wet on Thursday night. A great start to an even better weekend.

"Cheeseburger" and "Dirty Larry"relaxing on the back deck.

We had just gotten to the house after 4 hours in the truck.

The weekend begins!

The foyer in the front of the house has the wheels from an old ship and one of those creepy giant nutcrackers.

...and here's the creepy nutcracker. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. There are three of them.

~~~chills~~~

Larry talked Marty into getting his first tattoo.

They found the kayak... they said they had to 'practice' before they put it in the water.

HAHA!

I love this house. This is the view looking the other way off the back deck.

GO 24!!!

We're Gordon fans in case you didn't get that.

Daytona International Speedway at the Coke Zero 400

Practice makes perfect... not so much.

They look pretty steady here but they tipped over and got plowed by the kayak plenty of times before Jenn and I could quit laughing and showed them how it's done.

We stayed out all day getting sunburned kayaking.

I have more pictures but they're not available to me at the moment... pictures of the rest of the weekend. I'll post them when I get them.

Riddle #3

The answer?

SEVEN

Decapitate me and all becomes equal. (EVEN)

Then truncate me and I become second. (EVE)

Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started. (V)

HA! That was fun!

HAHA - I STUMPED HER!!

Sarah doesn't know the answer to this one!

I posted a riddle she couldn't blow out of the water!

I like this one.... does anyone else care to give it a shot before I post the answer?

Riddle #3

Let's try another riddle. Ready?

Decapitate me and all becomes equal. Then truncate me and I become second. Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started.What am I?

Sarah, fire away. :)