I. HATE. SPIDERS!!!!

It's karma, I know it.

I used to pick on David (Pinky) all the time. I would pick up a daddy long legs by a leg and dangle it in front of him because watching him behave like a lunatic amused me greatly. Once, I pointed out one crawling on the wall behind him to watch him hop oh so gracefully over the bar... things like that.

I'm paying for it.

I was always the one person that didn't flee like a cockroach when you turn a light on at the sight one. I was ok as long as I could see the little joker. I mean, I'm bigger then he is by how much? and it's not like he's gonna jump ten feet to bite me. Flip - flop comes off, spidey goes 'splat', right? Not so much.

My entire right leg hurts so bad I can hardly walk - from the top of my thigh all the way to my foot. My knee is the size of a basketball and cherry red with a black hole the size of a quarter where the little f'er decided to sink his teeth in the back of it. I've had a fluctuating fever since Friday that has been so high I was dizzy Saturday night and I have an appointment to go to my favorite place (my doctor's office) Monday morning and have it cut open. YAY!! I'm just so happy I could pee!

You're jealous, I can tell.

From now on I run. Hard and fast. No more screwin' around. I'm sorry Pinky... it was ridiculously funny at the time, but now I know you're P.O.V. and it won't happen again.

I'm off to try to sleep through serious throbbing pain before the appointment I'm so looking forward to.

......whimper.....

OK so I lied...

I disappeared again...

I'll try to keep up this time.

Really.

After much deep and profound brain things inside my head...

I've decided to leave any changes to my hair in Becky's (my hair stylist's) caring, educated (key word = educated) hands.

This is why...

That doesn't even look like me!!

Rollers are bad.

December 11, 2007...

...was the last time I posted anything here.

I won't let it happen again.

Grrrrr......

Ok.... I was about to post a bulletin to let you know you should never to buy Kleenex brand tissues because when you go to blow your nose, they disappear mid-honk.

After that I was going to post an APB for my AWOL hair scrunchies. (I was gonna have them court marshalled.)

But they were all found yesterday. They were being held as POWs in a large camp behind "Fort Easy Chair" in a town called "Living Room."

They were all rescued (tissues and scrunchies alike) and their captor, Oliver Bartholomeow Tumblecat, has been taken into custody.

Just an FYI

Pinky and The Brain

I give you Pinky. 'Drunken Stuper' Pinky.

My bestest friend.

Let's Try This Again

Sarah correctly answered the last riddle I posted within hours of posting it. It took 2 days for the answer to that one to come to me.

Let's try this one...


My posterior is adorned with feathers. I have a rather long neck and quite a pointy nose. I am able to fly, yet I have no wings.

What am I?

A Riddle

I am greater than God, more evil than the Devil.

Rich people need me, poor people have me.

If you eat me, you'll die.

What am I?

The Dress

Lori and Sarah went bridesmaid dress shopping last week. They finally found the right color on a dress that's pleasing to the eyes. It's not easy to find that blue unless your intent is to showcase your boobage or blind everyone in the room with enough sequins that people mistake you for a giant royal blue disco ball.



Pretty, huh?

This is a better view, trust me. It's a lot less lumpy on the hanger rather than wrapped around my pudge. I have work to do. I'm not going to tell you what size it is, I'm just going to tell you that I had trouble zipping it up. Sigh. I have until April to get into it comfortably.

Bridesmaid's dresses are taken care of, tuxes have been handled... now we have to work on what the bride is wearing.

That said, I'm going to go stare at a treadmill.

Ollie says...

uihjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeyulk;hyujgft vlo, ;c hnjzxl

lk nxc 7 999999999999999999999900bgffvg

I was going to tell you about the dress I'm wearing at my sister's wedding.

I guess Ollie decided what was on his mind was much more important.

....and here he comes again....

hjgfiuooooooooooogbtrfe4w3q22222222222kjgfr4r5io8787klhjlkighyt hyu n bbv

Sincerely,

Oliver